Comforts

Comforting images of well loved faces. Where do you see comfort in your life?

You may or may not know much about me, so I am going to share with you something that is on my mind and will be for a little while. Yesterday I went in for a cervical cancer recheck. I'm scared that my cancer is back. Unlike other forms of cancer this kind is from a contagious virus...one that I contracted during an attack of my personal space. This virus, the Human Papiloma Virus (HPV), has no cure and I have one of the two aggressive strains that leads to cancer. The doctors in two states told me that I was lucky that the cancer was caught early, but really who is lucky to have cancer? I had surgery in Sept of 2008 to remove the cancerous spots that they could see and was told to be rechecked every three months for the first year because this cancer pops up unexpectedly sometimes fast and sometimes slow. I was truly lucky to not have to undergo chemo or radiation at the time.

I am not supposed to be the sick one here...I am supposed to be the one who is fixing and comforting everybody else! I am supposed to be leading the normal life of a 32 year old woman, not going in for cancer rechecks every three months! I am supposed to be walking these dogs on the property, not hiding inside! I am the one who is supposed to be making my best friend laugh as we sit together and make jewelry!

I am supposed to be brave until the results come back, which up here in the mountains could mean a two week wait. I am supposed to sit quietly and accept all of this as the facts of my life? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? What about my family?

Comforting images of well loved faces. Where do you see comfort in your life?